That's twice in one day!

Bonus points if you tell me what line precedes that one and what movie it's from. And don't use a search engine, I'll know...

It's almost midnight and I'm actually getting sleepy! Woohoo!

I love holding my niece.

I'm getting sleepier.

1 John 1:5-10 is worth the read, and the meditation, and the prayer.

I ... I... I'm going to bed.

Did I mention it's my first time at this whole 'life' thing?

I apparently got off to a great start with my going-to-bed-early plan, as I decided to watch Avatar at 8:45 with brother and friends, but when we got to the mall found out that the 8:45 was non-3d, and people had decided to go to the 10:30 showing instead. And it's a 2:40 long movie, so I am still awake at nearly 2-in-the-morning.

Time to calm the mind, best not to ponder things too great and high for me, especially when I'm tired.

Good night, moon.

...Well, I'm back

I've been pondering blogging. Well, occasionally. I've even pondered myself blogging. Then I came up with a title, and decided it was time to begin blogging again. So be prepared for the inane, the obscure, and the unrelated, and let the indoctrination commence.

Or, if you prefer, you can just keep reading.

Late Night Musings ==> Am I Willing To Do What Is Necessary?

After writing that I feel like I should potentially switch my music selection--Wait for it...there, you see what I meant :P--, but I think Jars Of Clay will be sufficient.

The topic of being a "man" has been on my mind much of late. The conglomeration of attributes that the world calls a man contrasting with the sacrificial heart that God demands of a man. For serious, go read Proverbs and the teachings of Jesus, then Paul's explanations and elaborations, reading material vastly superior to this. I'll wait.

You might say, "wait, God does not demand anything of anyone, grace is free through faith," and you would be correct. But I chose my words carefully and, I do believe, correctly. There may be many things in here that will pertain to any women who should stumble upon this, but I admit that they are not my target audience. They do need to be every bit as sacrificial as men, but that's neither here nor there and I do not believe I can adequately address that being neither a woman nor growing towards that title. I will attempt to dwell on the topic I stated earlier, that of 'being a man.'

Let us return to that word, "demand." As implied earlier, perhaps God does not "demand" that we move on to a sacrifical heart. In the same way, we also can not "demand" that the Lord treat us as sons, bless us, let us into heaven, or view us through the righteousness of Christ. Now if He's going to do all that without any merit or effort on our part, I think it fair to state that the least we can do is to endeavor to follow the ideals that He laid down for us in His word. A man rescued from death should exhibit some manner of gratitude towards his saviour. To put it another way, God perhaps does not "demand" that we lads pursue manhood, but He very clearly illustrates that to not do so is foolish, lazy, and in the end, meaningless.

Often, we have messages pushed at us saying...

• to be youthful is good, stay that way as long as you can
  
• being young and free of obligations is the best time of your life
• get your kicks in now before it's too late

Go look at marriage statistics and the oft-quoted assertion that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Go look at the number of children being raised by schools and daycares rather than loving parents. Pick up an economic journal and check out the current state of affairs. Billions and billions of dollars tied up in debts that will never be paid back. Our culture is that of an irresponsible and foolish generation.

Now, because Adam sinned, men have been given the task of working the ground and have been told one thing: it will be hard. We are told to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Should I mention he died on a cross for her? We are told to mind our households, to be the leaders and to teach our children (not alone, mind you, men refer to women as their better halves for a reason, so don't read too much into that statement), and it is also scriptural that those who teach will be judged more harshly (see James). In the qualifications for elders and deacons it says to see how their children have turned out, for anyone who can not manage his own household should not be managing the body of the Lord.

Now I can say these things, I have plenty of knowledge, but do I yet have the wisdom to carry it out? Surely not! But am I pursuing that wisdom? The Lords says (also in James) that if anyone lacks wisdom he should ask of God for it and God will give it to him. But let him not be mixed in his desires, for then he is a double-minded man, unstable in all that he does. I pay plenty of lip-service to wanting to be responsible, wanting to keep good habits, wanting to have regular, meaningful devotional time and prayer time, wanting to excel in school (and very soon indeed, at work), wanting to find the woman with whom I may build a house for the Lord, but am I actually seeking the wisdom to pursue those things or am I simply "asking" God for those things and then sitting back and hoping that they'll happen as I fritter my time away?

In Galatians it says this: "Do not be deceived. God can not be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." For all my talk of late about being responsible with my time and eating habits and sleep and relationships, I have not put nearly enough work into my classes. I just reaped what I had sown and bombed an exam. I've slept through several classes lately because I was "too tired" --read: lazy and slothful-- to go. I've been neither purposeful nor careful of guarding the hearts of my female friends, friends that I should be treating with absolute purity. My eating is perhaps coming around, but I've definitely moved away from my regular breakfasts (in part to sleeping late enough to make it irrelevant), and that means losing my regular time in the Bible each morning.

Geez, Phil, don't be so hard on yourself! I tell you truthfully, I am not. Lately I have been very buoyed on by the goodness of God, and knowing that He remains the same good and loving God whether or not I fail a class. And I know that there is still time to salvage the situation, but to do so means that I need to "man up." What does that look like? It looks like working diligently, rather than haphazardly or when I feel like it. It means getting enough sleep to not sleep through precious devotion time. It means doing my homework and studies as unto the Lord, and the Lord is not someone to be blown off because I'd rather go have a "good time." It looks like shaking my lazy ways now, rather then some undetermined time in the future. It means behaving with such purity that I may never feel ashamed when meeting a woman's father or spouse.

But, , even if it's not "demanded" of me...



am I willing to do what is necessary?



[Editor's note: I just finished writing this and it took over an hour (after laying in bed for over an hour and a half), so I'm just going to post it and I'll come back and proof-read it/edit it tomorrow.]

Well, since somewhen asked...

I suppose I can start jotting notes down here as I intended all along, which means the next post should hit in July or something like that, i don't know.

I went to church on Sunday. Not a crazy idea, I know, since I do tend to do that regularly, but this was in Olympia, not Pullman. Yes, there were four commas in that sentence. Anyways, I was in a particularly pondering mood due to some amazing discussion from the day before, so I spent much of my time just thinking about worship and random tangents sparked by the given lesson for the day. One question I spent some time on was "what are the implications of the phrase 'My God' in a worship song?" Still working on that one.

I still have a bunch of other thoughts rattling around in my head but it will take time to sort out. I'll post it once I collect my thoughts on it.